My Blog

Lately, I just noticed I’ve been a prison in a
situation where I was having a hard time letting go of the “wrong feeling”. It
sucks, coz it affects me in a huge way I could ever imagine. I don’t know why
or how it happened. It just happened. Often times, it’s hard to let go of the
feeling. But the thing is the “wrong feelings” have to end now! I know this is
going to be hard but I wanna move on and let go of the “wrong feeling”….

If you were to
recall the most important moments in your life, you might realize that most of
these moments were shared with someone else. Yes, you’ll need solace time,
privacy and chill out sessions on your own, but majority of your time is spent
with someone else, friend. As I look back on all that’s happened..growing up,
changing you, changing me, there were times when we dreamed together, when we
laughed together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss
you. It’s getting hard to, be around you. There’s so much I can’t say. Is time for me to hide the feelings and look
the other way? It’s funny how big of an impact you have on me. It’s like when I
see you, you don’t even have to speak…all you can do is smile, and it can
make my day great. I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even
a simple message for me coz I know, even if its just for a second, that I’ve
crossed your mind….

We only live once. During the down days, if you choose to
keep in mind that you probably have more chances than others, more things to be
thankful for than others, and more time to live on this Earth than others,
you’d be reminded that your life is indeed very precious.

I’ve been asking people if they feel bored of their life.
University, work, going out, get married have kids, grow old, retire, die. Then
they all just say, “ya I am bored, but that’s life" then I ask but "
isn’t there something that we’re meant to do here on earth?!” They say… ya…
but that’s life..? Or ya… I regret not doing whatever I wanted /was meant to
do… and they’re still in their 20s… To me that just means, they don’t
care!! Its like in DIE HARD 4, the computer geek asked Bruce Willis why he
wants to do what he does since the hero himself reckons its not all glamorous
being a hero. He just simply said because there’s no one else who wants to do
it. Not that I want to have people bowing to me glorifying me, but I believe
everyone was born a hero. But how many people out there care? How many people
truly believe in freedom of speech? How many people out there dare to fight,
and stand for what they believe in? Many just give up, it’s easier to just have
a simple quiet. Be content with what we have right? Do not covet.

Over the years, I was taught thinking that we should
appreciate and be content with everything I have, and wanting more is coveting.
A sin! That’s harsh. But now I realize that’s just a totally wrong concept.
That’s actually the total opposite of what being a human is all about. It’s
about standing up for our rights, for the truth, always striving for the
better, having faith in God, ourselves, love, the people around us and the
world.

Life is really short and instead of being burdened by the
heavy "shoulds" and "could have beens", perhaps it’s really
time to have the courage to make more mistakes, be sillier, and travel lighter
for the rest of your life.

For the past years of my life, I’ve been keeping a diary where I write my temporary goal, target, frustrations, achievements, rants, etc. Last night, around 12:45 I was about to sleep when something caught my attention… my diary (entries started from January 2006 - December 2007). I began reading it and was shocked about the things I wrote. During those times, I was setting a lot of goal, commitment. Not many to be achieved. I can’t even remember it. I decided not to finish reading it, I was already sleepy. As I was lying in my bed, I was thinking of burning the diary because I don’t wanna remember everything.
I woke up around 8.00 AM, sending a morning greeting message and forgot about my diary. When I prepared my clothes since I was going to take a bath, suddenly I remembered my diary so I got it and burned it!!! What was going thru my head while the diary is being burned? Well, letting go of something you treasured is tough but I already prepared myself. Now, I feel much better. Life must go on……

Youth, a winding
road, twisting and turning. Never truly knowing what’s up ahead. Feelings of
constant pressure and yearning. On many days you would rather be dead. Which
road will you take the up or the down? So many decisions, how will you choose?
Your day depends on a smile or a frown. It’s all a game, will you win or lose? Just hoping you can make it through the day. There is no point looking around
the curve. Each turn comes in an unexpected way. Impossible to tell, go
straight of swerve. However, how many of us are wise enough to not still smash
our heads against the wall knowing that it’s still gonna be a wall in the end? Is
it fair to say that it’s being optimistic to think that if I keep on smashing
my head against the wall I’ll eventually find a hole? but how many of us can
keep ourselves away from the thing that we know might not be right for us but
we still love so dearly? Let it be. Let it go. Lay it down……

Throughout our entire life we have been surrounded by people who guided us, supported us, and taught us precious lessons. We continuously learning and growing from every experience we have and from every person who come across, each one plays a role on our personal development. In our life journey there’re innumerable traveler passed by who will make a halt through your journey, who will leave. No one able to know in advance. Perhaps, he/she is not your friend, your dearest or family member. You appears as an instant stanger who deep burying in my mind and never forget. I want to put something incredibly beautiful, sweet, nice and funny on u screen, but unfortunately i do not fit on it. Whenever i saw ur smiling face, I have to smile myself. In my dreams u’re mine, in my life u’re dream. i do not think much, I do not think often, but when i do think, I think of u. Somewhere, someone dreams of your smile and finds your presence in life so worth while. So when you’re lonely, remember it’s ture that somewhere, someone, is thinking of you.

When things go wrong, remember… It’s not what happens to you that matters most. It’s how you think about what happens to you…Let’s say that you are at the airport, waiting to catch a flight, and the airline tells you, “Sorry! Mechanical trouble. You won’t be leaving for three hours!” You get very angry. You tell yourself. “This is terrible! This is disaster!” While you remain stress, things will get worse! People will trip over you, spill coffee in your lap and lose baggage. When you fight life, Life always wins! Then finally you cool down. You tell yourself: “There’s nothing I can do about it. I am probably where I am meant to be. I’ll make the most of it.” Suddenly, everything changes! From nowhere an old friend appears, or you make a new friend, or you stumble on a fresh opportunity and life begins to support you. Once we change our thoughts about “a bad situation”, we can take advantage of it. Life’s great opportunities mostly arrive disguised as misfortune and disaster. Every “disaster” in your life is not so much a disaster, as a situation waiting for you to change your mind about it.

Sometimes people come into your life and you know exactly why they are meant to be there, to serve as some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help you figure out who you are or who you are destined to become.

At times you may not know who these people may be but when you lock eyes with them, you will know at that very moment that they’ll affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes instances happen that seem horrible, painful and unfair but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you wouldn’t have realized your potential, strength, willpower or heart.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road heading to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life…..

I am sitting in my room, contemplating my future, relieving my past and somehow trying to find my place in the present. Recently I have caught myself questioning the life I am leading, questioning what my real purpose is in this life that I have been given and  questioning if all the things I have experienced so far have really served as some sort of purpose. I think back and realise the innocence that I once posessed. The innocence which allowed me to explore, indulge my curiosity, but more importantly, to dream…

First is poor. You can’t wait when you’re destitute, because when time past, you will get used to it, at the appointed time not only unable to break through yourself, even could write off your own dream, and live a mediocre life. Second is dream. You can’t wait when you’re trying to accomplish your dream, because of the different stage in life, can have different informed and experienced and thought, considers a question: If your 20 years old dream, only can realize at 60 years old. What type of situation that can be? For example your 20 years old dream is buy a Ferrari racing car, then go for hurricane at Germany’s non- regulating road. You continue work diligently, to 60 years old, finally has bought a Ferrari with great difficulty, but do you think that you still can achieve your young time dream, perhaps was already lack of desire and energy. Third is Family, Your family member can’t wait, perhaps we are young, In the future we still have much time to be allowed to try, to find out, to fight, but family member? Do they have the time to wait for us to succeed?? ? Also has the time to wait for us to make money, lets them enjoy their life, and lets them proud of you?? ? So, no more procrastinating to me….